Lately, I have become rather obsessed with an even simpler type of math: counting.
I love to count. I love to count how many days of finals I have left. I love to count how many weeks until I board the plane home. I love to count how many 'sleeps' there are until my wonderful family gets here.
It seems as though every morning I wake up and my brain automatically calculates my new set of numbers. 11, 3, 9.
While I see no incredible harm in knowing the number of days until my time here in New Zealand is finished, I am struck by the danger of living only for the future instead of in the present. Too often I become stuck in wondering, wishing, and hoping for, what I imagine, a time when life will be easier. More filled with love. More figured out.
Something tells me that day will never come.
The world is a messy place. Things can be difficult. School can be challenging and relationships can be straining, but I know this: no matter how much you believe attaining something or reaching some time will make everything better, it will not.
My experience here in New Zealand has been unbelievable. It has been the most challenging thing I have ever done and while I think I have cried more in these 4+ months than in any other, I have grown and experienced more than I ever imagined possible. It wasn't done sitting and waiting in my cozy little bedroom in the basement for the time to pass. Instead, it happened through doing. Through action. Through engaging in the world around me just where I am.
As I count down now, I recognize that I need to continue to give my presence to my life here in Auckland, but I could not be more excited to share this place with those I love the most and to have them be present here too.
Be prepared, Auckland. The Lucht Brigade is coming.
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